


Chipmunk

by storyranger



Series: The Knight and Shining Artist Chronicles [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Vicodin, Wisdom Teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8321335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyranger/pseuds/storyranger
Summary: “Why are you smiling at me?”“I want to marry you someday.”Vicodin does strange things to people.
Kick-started with a prompt from http://writers-are-writers.tumblr.com/





	

**Author's Note:**

> Rated 13+ for profanity. Needed a creative challenge so I followed John Lazarus's rule of "only write dialogue."

“If they’re hurting this much you need to get them out, Lards.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“Lardo, that’s your fifth Tylenol today.”

“That’s two less then yesterday.”

 

***

 

“I made Chowder cry today. I feel kinda bad about that.”

“We’re calling my dentist and getting them out this weekend.”

“Shitty, I can’t. I don’t have that kind of money right now.”

“And that’s why we’re putting it on my credit card.”

“Shitty, I can’t let you do that.”

“Not my Visa, Lards. My Amex.”

“Oh.”

“Figure my parents may as well start paying you back for how rude they’ve been to you.”

“But what about when you need to get yours out? What’ll you tell them then?”

“Mine grew in straight. They’ll never need to know.”

“Lucky bastard.”

“So I’ll pick you up Friday night?”

“Fine.”

 

***

 

“Fuck, Shitts, I’m scared.”

“It’s gonna be fine. You’ll be out for 2 hours, tops. Dr. Ambrose is the best oral surgeon in Massachusetts.”

“Still scared.”

“I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“Less scared.”

 

***

 

“Why are you smiling at me?”

“I want to marry you someday.”

“Clearly that’s the Vicodin talking.”

“No, I mean it. Jack’s gonna plan you the most boring bachelor party ever and I’ll make Bitty and Chowder take me to a strip club and your mom will throw things at the reception and it’ll be awesome.”

“I should be videotaping this. I could blackmail you to do anything.”

“No! No fair. You’re no fun. You cut your hair off and you became no fun. This car is a no fun zone.”

“Lardo, I’m gonna crash the car and kill us if you keep poking my face like that.”

“I can’t get married with an undercut. My relatives in Vietnam are going to think I’m queer.”

“You are queer.”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! They’ll hear you!”

“Lardo, they’re _in Vietnam_.”

“You have to listen to me, I have stitches in my mouth.”

“Fine.”

 

***

 

“Jesus Christ, I look like an abused chipmunk.”

“Still hot, though.”

“Fuck you, liar.”

“I’m serious! You make it work.”

“Shut up and get me another smoothie. What the fuck did I say yesterday, anyway?”

“Nothing special. Normal drugged-up babble. It was cute.”

“Oh god, I said something really embarrassing, didn’t I.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Ransom thought I’d get super serious about duck vaginas. Bittle’s money was on a proposal.”

“What about Holster?”

“Holster thought I’d just pass out.”

“We really need to stop betting on each other’s lives at some point.”

“I know, but it’s too much fun.”

“I’d kiss you, but I feel like it might break your clot.”

“This is going to be a long fucking weekend.”

“Good thing I paid my Netflix bill.”

“Thanks, Shitty.”

“Love you too, Lardo.”


End file.
